I tried to make this clear in my post about burnout: the healing process is so much more profound than simply healing a broken bone.
Now that I am a couple of days away from trusting my instincts by leaving my job, the message is so clear.
I want to mention that when we go through a life change, it can take years for the real reasons to reveal themselves.
As I mentioned in the last post, everything about this particular life change has been high octane.
I am seeing a much bigger picture today.
It all makes so much sense.
And, as time goes on, I'm sure I will see more.
So, please, you can't compare, but I do want you to know, that if you currently find yourself navigating a life change, the reasons will reveal themselves as time goes on and you get settled.
I knew in my gut that this was all due to my healing.
I knew that I had outgrown my present circumstances.
I knew I had done all I was meant to do.
I left, without fear, knowing it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing at that moment, without needing to know, why.
After moving through the heavy emotions, I remembered.
Why not call my old agency, if nothing else, just to get the energy flowing?
I had no preconceptions.
If there was work, hooray, if not, I knew I would be OK.
Yup. Three positions had opened up at my old school, that same day.
I made it clear that I had physical limitations, which would prevent me from working with the younger kids.
They said they would get back to me.
I looked at the time.
I called my good friend who still works there and asked her who lost aides?
High school. The age group I prefer, in that environment.
THE NEXT DAY
My agency called.
My prints from my previous job were sent to the Ohio Department of Education, my last background check is good for another three years, and the principal at my old school is thrilled to have me back.
I just needed to get my permit in motion and I'm back to work.
"We'll send you an email"
I never got it.
Turns out my old school only needed someone for the younger kids. The message I had received in regards to my healing was even more set in stone.
LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU
Look at the last couple of days from a distance.
I listened to the Universe and allowed things to unfold, even though there were moments when It was not easy.
Then it seemed as if, maybe, I'd be able to keep some money trickling in by going back to a job that I had already burned out from once before.
This did not happen either. So, what was the message I got in regards to this phase in my healing?
An old one.
Sometimes it's impossible to move on to what's next when everyone around you only sees what used to be.
That's what had happened at my job.
I am stronger and ready for something more.
All they saw was the woman who had started working there in September. A woman with physical difficulties and no car (FYI - we got a car a week or so after I started).
They thought I was working there because I needed their help, because I had no other choice. Sure, it helped, but I had other options. I was there because I wanted to be, they never got that and treated me as such.
So, of course, things were not going to work out with my old job. Stepping back and dealing with people who would only have seen who I was two years ago, would not have resonated with where I am headed, either.
WHERE AM I HEADED?
I have no idea.
I never do. What I do know is that wherever the Universe wants me is where I will end up.
I will learn what I am supposed to learn.
And, in the meantime, it looks like I have quite a bit of time to focus on my dreams for my Biz.
P.S. Interested in more insights on healing? Check out my free eBook. Instant download, no email address required :)
This month's Life Empowerment Tip is from me. Ever since I discovered this little nugget of excellence, I've been chomping at the bit to share it with you.
I've recently discovered Pandora.com, the free, online, music channel.
After spending a couple of weeks listening to all my favorite artists, I got the bright idea to see if they had any New Age, Healing, Meditation, Nature music.
Here's what I've discovered, so far, and it's changed a lot of things in my world.
I chose the following three channels:
Calm Meditation Radio
Sounds of Nature: Tibetan Healing Sounds Radio
New Age Ambient Radio
Then, I put Pandora on shuffle and chose only those three stations.
I have to say, it truly has been very empowering to have access to music that can center and relax me, whenever I want.
But wait! There's more!
Thanks to the advertising, this is all FREE!
So the zen of the moment gets interrupted for a few seconds. Most of these songs are over eight minutes long, so I've never been real annoyed. When it is too much, I simply mute the volume on the device I'm using, for a few seconds.
So! Head on over to Pandora.com and set up your own account. It's easy and it will be one of the best things you've ever done for yourself.
Even though the clutter was cut in half, it still looked messy.
It reminded me of Monica's secret closet on Friends, where she hid all the stuff she didn't have a place for, thus shattering her Martha Stewart, perfect image.
BTW - Did you know that when you Google "Monica's Closet" this is what pops up?
Pretty cool - huh?
THE CATS HAVE FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT
The picture says it all.
I was working on my bed one day, looked down, and saw this:
"IT'S NOT GONNA STICK..."
This is what I kept telling my good friend who came to visit me the weekend of April 8th.
Heaven forbid either of us take the time to check an actual weather report.
We woke up on April 9th to this:
Not my photo - Credit goes to Jennifer White
That's me cleaning off her car in exaggerated disbelief. Ha!
It was beautiful.
She's currently living in Tennessee and grew up near Chicago.
We met when she was going to school in Detroit.
I went inside to take care of something and let her play in the snow.
She was ecstatic :)
And - Finally.
After not having pinkeye for over 39 years, I have gotten pinkeye twice since I started my new job, even though I do all I can to keep my hands away from my face.
Here's a throw away from the end of the year post where I shared my first round.
The second time around I was determined to treat it naturally because I was not about to drag it out for days until I could see a doctor.
Here's what I discovered:
1/4 tsp. honey (I used really good, locally harvested honey)
1/4 C distilled water
pinch of sea salt
First of all, I keep the infection from spreading by frequently rinsing my eye with water, away from the other eye.
(I did this the first time and the doctors were astounded that the infection had not spread to my other eye, or to Ken.)
I put 2 drops of the above mixture in my eye every couple of hours, while also continuing to rinse. This makes your eye look a little worse, AT FIRST! I went to bed and when I woke up the infection was gone. When I returned from work their was a little irritation in the corner, so I did the above routine until I went to bed.
For the following week, any time my eye was a little "waterier" than the other, I put in the drops and rinsed.
YOU PUT HONEY IN YOUR EYE?!?
First of all, if I have no problem putting chemical antibiotics in my eye, why would I not try a little honey diluted in water?