Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Take a Look Around




This post is meant to lift you up.

I am honored that you take the time out of your day to check in and see what's going on around here.

I am honored to be one of the people you surround yourself with.

This post is meme heavy because I just want you to look around and think today.

THE PEOPLE SURROUNDING YOU

You know, by now I hope you've figured out that I want you to know that you are in charge of your life.

The most powerful tool at your disposal is your power to choose.

So, take a look around.

Who are you choosing to spend your time with?




LIKE HOLDING UP A MIRROR

As I said, back in the d-d-d-day;
"The people that surround you are simply a reflection of yourself. If you look in the mirror and don't like the way your hair looks, you fix it, right?  The same goes for when you scan the people who share your space.  They are a reflection of aspects of yourself and if you aren't happy with the way the reflection looks then change it."
Don't like what you see?

Remember you are in charge -- and it doesn't have to be all drama-llama-ding-dong when it comes time to shift things about.

It can be as simple as Rob Lowe, Charlie Sheen and their agreement to disagree on sobriety.

They're still buddies, they just keep it to texting these days ;-)




WHO MAKES THE FINAL CUT?

It's pretty simple, actually.

The people you want to spend the majority of your time with are people who lift you up.

People who support your dreams and aspirations.

People who are where you want to be and are not afraid to help you get there.


Of course, this doesn't mean you need to go out and quit your job, or ostracize yourself from all other human beings.

You need these people in order to grow and learn.

I'm just asking you to take a look around at the people you consciously choose to spend your time with.

Like what you see and the way they make you feel?  

Then you're all set.

Things need a little sprucing up?  

Well, now you know exactly what needs to be done.

Love and hugs,

Friday, October 17, 2014

How To Change Your Life By Cleaning + Purging Your Home



Oh boy! I am so excited!

I have not done any sort of workshop in quite some time, and as I was contemplating my lessons and actions for my Mercury Retrograde "hermit time", I decided to go with the flow and "look back" at some gems from the early days of SacredCyberSpace.com.

I found just enough gems to create a gorgeous, succulent workshop, designed to help you focus on surrendering, letting go,  purging, cleaning and simplifying, so you can make the most of this Retrograde by making your personal space more sacred and open to change.


LET'S GET STARTED!
  • Create Sacred Space -- Honoring your home as the sacred space it is meant to be, is one of the fastest ways to create change in your life.  Think about your home and the Sacred Spaces you can create, then take it one step further and acknowledge the sacredness of your entire home.  This is where life happens.  This is where we make our intentions known.  This is where we come to step away from the habits and craziness of everyday life.  This is the space that should lift us up so we can stretch and grow into who we are meant to be.

TAKE ACTION...
  • Start by purging what you no longer need -- This is a fantastic way to create room, literally and spiritually.  By donating, recycling and pitching what you no longer use you are creating room for what will truly serve you.  You're telling the Universe that you are ready for what is next.  Ideally, I like to do this frequently throughout the year.  It really keeps the energy of my home lifted and flowing.  Not sure where to start? Head to your bedroom, the last room you see every night and the first room you see every morning.

  • That also goes for people and situations -- As you release the items that no longer serve you, you may start to notice that there are life situations that are taking up space as well.  Old emotions, unbalanced friendships, bad memories and even good memories can keep you stuck where you are because they are taking up much needed room in your spirit.  Be sure to read the article and apply at least one technique to help you release this intangible clutter.   ---  "Wait?!", you might be asking, "Did you say even good memories?" Yup and here is my favorite example of a good memory gone wrong:  Napoleon Dynamite's Uncle Rico, who could never move on from that winning, high school touchdown...



TAKE A BREATHER...
  • It's time to surrender.  Take time to surrender as you undertake these tasks.  Especially if it has been an overly emotional experience for you.  Surrendering begins as a conscious act.  Doing what needs to be done, within yourself, to step back and allow the Universe to unfold.  It can be scary to stop taking action, but is actually very empowering. Creating change can be a little overwhelming, so it's important to slow down if it's too much.  It's important to take the time to take care of yourself while allowing the Universe to do its thing.  Take a moment to declare "That's it!  I give up!" ;-)

MAINTAIN!
  • Now it's time to keep things clear. -- By keeping your personal space clean you are sending a clear message to the Universe.   You are maintaining a foundation for all sorts of possibilities.  There are so many benefits to cleaning, besides the obvious sanitary reasons.  You can use the time to Zen out as an active meditation.  But more than anything, you honor your space and its sacredness by keeping it clean, creating a home where the stresses of the day can truly be washed away.  And, yes, this also includes clearing your space with incense or smudge as well.  For many of us, our space is not really cleansed until the energy has been cleared too.

  • Finally, do what you can to keep it simple. -- Don't go another three years before you create the change your life needs.  Do what you can on a daily basis to keep your life as simple as possible.  You have already set up a very solid foundation by following along with this workshop.  Now it's time to dig deeper, to see what you can do, to create a life where change is easily allowed.

BONUS!

Yes!

Tools to help you figure it all out.  


Here are some worksheets from a workbook I created a while back, that I know will help you with the concepts of simplifying and purging.

I am so happy to be able to share them with you, to help you create the change you are seeking.

GOOD LUCK!

And drop me a line to let me know how it goes.

I can't wait to hear about all of the change you were able to create.

Love and hugs,

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

How to Make Nice with the Mercury Retrograde


OK, cats and kittens.

This post has been years in the making.

Even before I started blogging.

Even before there was an Internet.

I was experiencing the effects of the the dreaded Mercury Retrograde.


WHAT THE HECK IS IT?

An astrological occurrence that happens three times every year, Mercury actually spends about three weeks in retrograde with a week and a half shadow on either side.

Therefore, three times a year, for about a month and a half, we are subjected to what I have come to see as the BENEFITS of the Mercury Retrograde.

It's a time when it appears as if the planet Mercury is moving backwards.  It makes its way around the sun faster than we do, so, even though it isn't really moving backwards, it looks like it is.

So, what happens astrologically is that whatever Mercury represents, or is in charge of, will more than likely be, um, not as "cooperative" as you are normally used to.


IF YOU FEAR THIS TIME OF YEAR...

Let's rip the band-aid off quickly.

These are all of the icky things that can happen.  They can happen at any time of year, but will most likely happen during a Mercury Retrograde as the cards are more likely to be dealt.

Miscommunications with anyone and everyone.  Money troubles. Car troubles. Computer troubles.

See the pattern there?

It's also recommended that you don't sign contracts, enter into business with anyone or make large purchases.

And, the biggest band-aid?

Well, if it's not working and hasn't been working, and you have been refusing to acknowledge it (whatever "it" may be), it will more than likely make its exit during a Mercury Retrograde.

If it's not for your greatest good, it will go.

This includes relationships of any kind.

Friendships, romantic, business, jobs, even relationships with food can be brought to an abrupt end during a Mercury Retrograde.


BUT WAIT!  MERCURY RETROGRADES ARE ACTUALLY PRETTY COOL - I SWEAR!

  • This is the perfect time to step back and observe your life.  (Did you see that?  Back?  Like the backwards motion of Mercury?)
  • It's great for contemplating spiritual beliefs and practices.  Defining what's working for you and what isn't.
  • It's also a great time to finish a project, maybe just not the best time to release it to the world.
  • Also, don't be afraid to use this time to learn any lessons you've been avoiding.  Mercury will place them out in plain view for you to dig into.
  • Believe it or not, this is a great time to get together with old friends.  Actually, it's not that hard to believe since we've established that Mercury appears to be moving backwards ;-)

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

So, let's move on.

Now you are aware of what can go wrong and you are also aware of the immense positives that are possible as well.

No more excuses.  


Think logically about your choices, but don't live in fear.

Own whatever life situations may pop up.  Take responsibility for your input, learn and move on.

Let go of what is no longer working.

Quietly learn and grow.

Then when Mercury goes direct, you'll be locked and loaded.

Ready to move forward.

Wiser, clearer and more grounded in your purpose.

Love and hugs,














Tuesday, October 7, 2014

It's been a while...

It's been quite a while since I shared a Soul Lift.

I don't know about you, but this is exactly what I needed to hear today.

Copy and paste it to save to your desktop or print to hang in your office.


Email subscribers will recognize this from a couple of months ago.

Sign up here if you're interested in getting monthly inspiration sent straight to your inbox.




Love and hugs,




Wednesday, October 1, 2014

"Turn, turn, turn..."




I've been trying to figure out the best way to share this.

I'm ALL ABOUT keeping things quiet and close to your heart when you are in the process of creating something.

I didn't tell anyone I knew about this blog for almost two years.

I have an online buddy who wrote a book and only shared it with a select few while she was creating.  Then, one day - tada!  She had a finished book to share with everyone.

It's important when you're in the process of birthing something to only share it with those you know will understand and support your process.

THANK YOU!

I have something to do that I have been waiting for the right moment to do.

I have been chewing on this idea over the last two years.

Thank you for indulging me.

I've known the right moment will be when it feels light and the opportunity I had to move on several months ago did not feel light.

It felt RIGHT, but it also felt heavy

Heavy because I knew I needed time to heal from an insane school year.

I let the door close, knowing full well it would be easy enough to open again when the time was right.

DOESN'T TAKE A GENIUS...

This is the week I return to my day job.

The job I've known would always run its course.

The job that helped me let another childhood dream (being a school teacher), go.

The job that used to be my purpose and joy.

The job that gave me some of the best "adult" friends I've ever had.

It doesn't take a genius to see that I am ready to go and I took advantage of one more summer to get my Self set.

FACEBOOK GOODBYES

My summer started out with me being so stressed that I was ready to just not go back at all.

I resented having to pay for my license and my background check after almost three weeks of extra unpaid time, due to all the calamity days.

I resented so much about my day job that even the good things weren't enough to change my perspective.



I soon realized I wasn't going to be able to focus on my healing if I didn't have my work lined up.  I put my "big girl" pants on and took care of business.

A couple of weeks later I was still tied in a knot and knew what needed to come next; for my sanity and to declare my intention to the Universe.

I politely unfriended my work colleagues from my personal Facebook account. 

This was very difficult because many of us have worked together for years and I can't think of a better team of people to have spent the last 10 1/2 years of my life with

AND THEN...

Later that day I got an email from a colleague, one who I've worked with the entire time I've been there.

She has a new baby and a very successful blog.  She did not renew her contract and will not be returning.

Another colleague's position has been reduced to part time.  But she's the art teacher and we have been talking for a while about turning her talent into her livelihood.

And it also looks like the staff might be reduced by one teacher, as well.

So many have been crying "ain't it awful!", but all I can feel is inspiration and momentum.

Of course I'm scared to pieces, but I will not have what I need to make my dreams my reality if I continue doing what I'm doing.

My time to leave is coming very soon. 

There is so much I will miss, but my body is telling me it's time to go.


 
Love and hugs,














--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this post over the summer, convinced that I was going to get back to work and somehow find the courage to leave.

I scheduled it for the third week in August and went on my merry way.

Then...

I found out I had two weeks of vacation time and I decided to give it another year; and chose to set this post "on a shelf".

Then, out of nowhere, the Universe knocked the wind out of my sails.

 As of today (9/29/14) I no longer work at the behavior school.


Monday, September 22, 2014

Mars in Sagitarius

I'm not one to shy away from astrology.

I don't pretend to be an expert, but I do understand more than the average Joe.

I also have a tendency to look at astrology after the fact; I don't plan my life around the stars.

And if I choose to say, send out a bunch of private messages, seeking women to review my new eCourse - during a Mercury Retrograde - I may find myself ticked, but not surprised - when I piss off half of them and confuse the rest.  Haha! ;-)


Anyway, if you've been keeping up with the blog, you may have seen that myself, and many people I know, have been happy and content, engaging with an interesting darkness that's been present in our lives.


Well, Guess What?

Mars has been in Scorpio the last few weeks.

This is why things have been so intense and dark.

On the 13th it moved into Sagittarius.

This means, if you haven't noticed already, things will be feeling more inspired and forward moving.

A perfect time for new pursuits or even travel.

Just be sure you aren't trampling on the feelings or rights of others on your way.

So, all that creative energy we were all experiencing during that intensity is now going to come together.

Good luck.

Have fun.

And enjoy!

Love,




Monday, September 15, 2014

"When Everyone Shines But You" + An Interview + Giveaway With Kelly Martin



Kelly!  I have been so excited about this interview.  Congratulations on creating this wonderful book, "When Everyone Shines But You: Saying Goodbye To I'm Not Good Enough".  It is simply fantastic. 39 scrumptious nuggets of wisdom and guidance derived from allowing your spirit's guidance to emerge through your words.  Just beautiful.

Thank you Marla, so glad you enjoyed reading it.

Before I begin, I want to let everyone know that Kelly has generously offered to share a Kindle or eBook version of her book, with one lucky reader. This contest is open to anyone.  Simply subscribe to the SacredCyberSpace.com email list, below, to be included in the giveaway.  The contest will end, Friday, September 19th at Midnight EST.  We will contact the winner via the email address used to sign up :)
(Don't worry, I hate spam as much as you.  I will never sell or share your email address)

(Sorry - This Contest Has Ended)


First of all, you cover this in your introduction, but can you share with my readers why you were moved to write this book?

Writing 'When Everyone Shines But You' came from a real feeling of not being good enough. I had spent 30+ years of feeling under the radar in life, watching people I knew, both friends and family, pass me by in terms of outer success, relationship success and financial success. As I neared 40 I grew more and more frustrated by the lack of understanding in the modern self-help and motivational books I saw online and in my local book-store. The emphasis was on 'getting happy', 'thinking positively' and 'creating your reality'.

I had tried, and invested years on all these topics. I had countless gratitude journals; I had been there, bought the t-shirt in terms of vision boards, focusing on better feeling thoughts, imagining the life of my dreams, avoidance strategies through focusing on what I wanted instead of the reality before me. Everywhere I looked many teachers were professing the importance of thinking positively as a primary objective in life, but nothing was ever said about the negative being a route in to what was causing many people to feel worthless in this world.

I was no experienced psychologist or motivational speaker, but what I was, was someone who had certificates in 'feeling like a failure', awards in 'huge bouts of jealousy' and trophies in 'shame and not feeling good enough'.

And one day I knew I just needed answers, and I knew that after reading so many books and watching so many videos, that the only place this wisdom was going to come from was within me. I wanted to read a book that was yet to be written and I had no idea what was going to come out of it or what it was going to be about. I just knew I needed to start writing and so I did, and I let it flow.


One of my favorite things about this book is that I knew nothing about it until it was finished.  You were very particular about who knew about what you were doing.  Can you fill us in on what it takes to get something like this accomplished?  How you kept your "head in the game"?

Oh, this was the hardest part Marla, keeping it quiet. I was always a 'tell people my plans' and take action later, only the action never continued, because a part of me used the 'sharing my ideas' to keep me where I was, held back so I could gather more information. And because I had never completed anything to fruition, I had to keep this quiet. This was a real strong feeling inside me to keep it quiet and sacred in my creative womb, but everything about writing a book and publishing was the exact opposite of this because writing a book involves promoting – prior to the book's launch, so this was hard for me to accept.

Writing a book without a plan in mind can be challenging. The ego likes to be in charge and control every step of the way, but with this book I wanted answers and the mind did not have the answers to my life challenges. So the process was a journey through the dark in many ways. I would spend each day asking myself 'What do I need to know right now?' and some days I gazed out of the window with no idea or answer coming to me. But then something was triggered within, by a butterfly on a flower, by rain falling and the answers came through nature.

It was then I realized that this book was going to be written differently.  I was going to be a vehicle for my spirit and human selves to work together as one, recognizing that my humanity has as much wisdom as any aspect of my spirit.

I kept my head in the game with the support of one good friend, my best friend and house-mate Mike. He became my editor, proof-reader and general cheer-leader. Although the biggest encouragement came from within, something in me felt I needed to write this book and I also used jealousy as a fuel for my passions of writing; more of this is included in the book.


You have been writing about the journey of life and "questioning reality" for years.  So someone out there doesn't feel so alone, what was it in your heart that made you start questioning traditional "self-help" guidance?

I found traditional self-help guidance to be incredibly one-sided.  The exercises, ideas, goal setting strategies spoke to an assertive, extroverted individual who was in a pretty good place already, and many of the teachers I read or heard were discouraging negative thinking altogether. This did not sit right with me, how can we have the Yang without the Yin?

As I put many of the traditional self-help methods into practice, I grew frustrated that they 'appeared' to work for some, yet many people were still feeling frustrated, sad, lonely, depressed and not good enough. The more I was encouraged to feel positive the more I felt negative. I kept having this nagging question inside 'What if there is something beautiful in the darkness? Something beautiful in the negative that we are avoiding through all this 'positive thinking'?


One of my favorite themes is a philosophy you and I both have in common ~ embracing/acknowledging the negative, challenging, sometimes dark moments in life. Which totally goes against the message of many of the "manifesting", "change your life" gurus out there.  When did you discover the life-changing momentum these experiences have to offer?

The biggest turnaround was at my first mindfulness meditation class. I had been spending so much time alone in solitude that going to a new class brought up a great amount of anxiety. I had experienced intense anxiety since I was 7 years old and it was nothing new to me, but something about mindfulness brought out something different. Instead of avoiding the anxiety, mindfulness shone a light on the fears that came up in bucket-loads. I sat in the corner of the class and had a full blown panic attack. I wanted to run; I wanted to flee the room, to escape, but something in me said stay. And I sat through the panic, the intense fear and listened to very loud noises outside and began to hear the harmony in the pneumatic drill drilling, the seagulls cawing, the bells chiming and the people talking loudly outside the meditation room. And a smile came across my face. The outer noise reflected the inner noise, the anxiety. I realized the anxiety had a gift to share with me. It showed me it would lessen if I actually embraced it instead of fleeing from it through distraction techniques like positive thinking.


I love Chapter 21, Loneliness.  Discovering that we are the best friend we could have is so liberating.  What is your favorite thing to do to honor your alone time with yourself?

I actually really love to take myself out for coffee. Something about being alone yet not alone, among people, yet on retreat. Watching the world go by, being part of it yet feeling separate too. I also find mindfulness meditation helps me immensely. Sitting quietly, no music, just silence or outer noises taking place and observing the landscape within my mind. Bringing my attention to this alone time was the beginning of self-compassion for me, the beginning of self-kindness.


Which chapter is your favorite?  Why?

My favourite chapter is Chapter 25 – Too Much Emphasis On Positive Thinking May Damage Self-Worth because I find it soothes me at times of distress, when the failure story may be playing, and the mind is telling me 'I should be feeling happy/positive/joyful'. It helps me surrender into the feeling and give my human self the comfort and kindness it so very much deserves. It literally allowed me to be human as the words came through me. I read it back and felt nourished and held by gentle hands nurturing my human experience. I was no longer flawed just because I could not 'will' myself into a better frame of mind.


How has your life changed since you started accepting all the aspects of yourself?

Well, for me this is just the beginning. It's a journey and I would be lying to say writing this book has changed my world, but what it has done is change my perception of my world and how to live in life. I feel a greater confidence that I never had before and I value myself a whole lot more. Before I started this journey of acceptance I lived a life of perpetually feeling 'worthless and useless'. I no longer feel worthless, but I still have stories playing; pain arises, sadness comes, jealousy too, yet they no longer send me into a pit of despair. I am able to manage and relate to myself much more deeply now. The tender loving arms of mindfulness have created a space within me to open my heart – to me. This is the biggest change and one I am still discovering moment-by-moment.


OK.  I'm going to wrap things up by asking you where we can find you online? 

You can find me in various places online.
I do most of my writing here at: www.kellymartinspeaks.co.uk
But to find out more about 'When Everyone Shines But You' you can visit my new author website: www.kellymartin.co.uk
I also share videos of encouragement on my You Tube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/KellyMartinSpeaks/
And share inspiration on


I can remember a time in my life where I felt like everyone was in on some secret, leaving me out of the loop. That is why I love this book.  Each chapter clears the path a little more than the next and we are left with clarity; we finally feel like we're in on it too, by the time we are finished. 

And - even better - when the book is finished we are left with a fantastic reference/resource to keep around for those days when we need a little centering and focus.

Thank you, Kelly!

Thank you for this interview.

Thank you for this book.


Thank you Marla for reading and giving such great feedback on the book, I have enjoyed this interview x



Kelly Martin is a British writer and a natural free flowing intuitive blogger who can write till the cows come home, but because she felt a complete failure at everything in her life, she never gave herself the chance to finish anything, especially a book, until now.

One day Kelly saw other people praising their books and something began to stir inside. She always felt she had a book inside her, but because she thought so differently to many people in the self-help arena she held off sharing to a wider audience, yet a strong voice within began to grow louder and she knew she had to begin to share what she knew, to share the wisdom that was beginning to drive her days and to offer support and encouragement to people who also felt like failures, who also felt worthless and useless, and for those people who felt that there was no point to their being here on planet Earth.

She watched as scores of people became enmeshed in the 'Law of Attraction' culture. She watched as people felt downtrodden by the positive thinking path, when they were unable to hold positive thoughts as they were told they 'should' be doing or having, and she said to herself 'Enough is enough! I need to voice a new way of being human' and so When Everyone Shines But You was born.

So from blogging at Kelly Martin Speaks to now, a new chapter began. The labour was filled with complications, the pregnancy was private, the going full term was overwhelmingly tough going at times, but the baby was born. The first of many more to come.

You can follow Kelly Martin across the web on the social networks below or you can subscribe to her newsletter HERE where she shares all her news and writing.

Here’s to all the square pegs, black sheep and outsiders wanting a voice.


Thursday, September 11, 2014

September 11, 2014

www.freeimages.com

I just looked back through the blog and noticed something very interesting.

I have purposefully not posted anything on September 11th, except for sharing my personal experience on the 10 year anniversary.

I've been running with a personally intriguing, healing theme the last several weeks in my life and I've shared some of it here on the blog.

Darkness

I honestly can not think of a darker day than this one (in my life time) and find it amusing that I've been avoiding it the last couple of years.

This year, I am OK with it.

This year I know with all my heart and soul that it was as dark as it was, because there was so much light present.


A goodness that, in the end, has gotten even more press than the awful events of that day.

It's not ironic.

It just is.

Light.




Monday, September 8, 2014

Another Healing Challenge


This blog has lacked any real cohesiveness for a while now.

All I can say is that I am still in the sloppy copy phase of things.

I'm testing my blogging class right now, Brilliant Blogging!, and one of the big things I stressed in the last module I posted was starting small so you can collect your thoughts.

Since I've been teaching this class, I've been able to put things in perspective with my own creative efforts over here at my blog.

Sacred Cyber Space is a blank slate for me.

A place to share my process, my life, my dreams, my efforts...

So, I've been trying out different ideas and directions over the past year.

Like trying on different outfits.

Discovering my strengths and my weaknesses.


Healing My Self...


One of my favorite words of wisdom from her is that starting your own biz "will make you face your shit!" 

I'm finding it really interesting that once I started testing my class, the Universe saw that I was ready to heal some stuff I had no idea was lurking about.

I'm heading into month two of some serious "closure".


It just keeps on coming and I'm embracing every minute.

The biggest message?

Without darkness, how would we recognize the light? 


When You're Ready...

I thought I was in the midst of a serious problem when I heard some interesting news from several good, girl friends.

"I got an early start on my Halloween this year"

One started her Horror Movie fest at the beginning of September, another has been planning her decorations since July, and so many have made reference to being "so over Summer and ready for Halloween."

This made me feel a little less like an addict when I confessed the following, to one of my closest friends. I had started watching American Horror Story again (last week), after Ken and I decided we were going to start watching the first two seasons on Halloween night so we'd be all caught up and ready for Season 3 when it debuts on Netflix in early December.

So here's my challenge for you:

When you feel ready, think of a time you consider dark or negative.  A time that you "would never share in mixed company".  A time that brings up emotions you have been told by the "gurus" - you should not think about because you don't want to "send a low message/vibration out to the Universe".

It's OK.  It only seems so dark because the light shining on it is so bright.

Face it.  

Embrace it.  

Own it.

Release it and...

Allow it brighten your light.











**If you choose to pursue working with Leonie Dawson via the above link, I will receive "Thank You" money from her for sending you her way.  I only recommend coaches and tools that I have had personal and beneficial experience with.  If this does not sit well with you, feel free to "enter through another door" by Googling: Leonie Dawson.