Monday, June 6, 2011

My Life As Example, Part 2

The Journey Continues...

"The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination."    ~  Don Williams, Jr.

I'm a little embarrassed, but I need to come clean as to why I haven't written much lately.  I've been stuck in one of those cycles where I've been afraid to admit I'm not perfect ; )  In the last post, I shared a great web site I found after reading/ listening to a great article by the site's author.  I have been suffering from what the author had come to realize about herself.  Even though I do the work, the loudest voice always ends up being the very one I'm trying to overcome; society's conditioning.

So, here's what's happened since I posted the series of miracles that led up to my finding a second job.

The day I was to start the new job, I woke up feeling physically horrible. I pushed myself to get ready for my day job and then, regretfully, called off so that I would be able to make it to my first day at the new job later that afternoon.  I slept for 3 hours and woke up feeling even worse.  When I was still feeling awful, in the afternoon, I knew in my gut what was going on.  It was what I knew as typed the words to my last entry.  I had settled so that my life would feel more stable.  I had completely ignored my own advice because, here in the world of the five senses, I did not like feeling like I was adrift with no solid footing.

To be frank, I think it's a good idea I ignored my own advice.  It did wonders for my spirit to go out there, "grab the bull by the horns", and make something happen.  Unfortunately, I knew deep down, that no matter what, I am not a salesperson and had vowed to myself a long time ago that I would not push myself to do sales work again.

I was still feeling like I needed to push on through because "in this economy, only a fool would walk away from a job".  I called my mother, who is a great amateur, spiritual counselor ; )  I was in tears as I told her what I was going through.  I knew deep down what was going on, but that it didn't make sense in the "five senses" not to follow through.  She asked me to remember how I felt as a child, when I would go around the neighborhood to sell things to fund raise for school.  I did not hesitate to answer, I hated it.  Even though I knew everyone, and they were as kind as they could be, I hated disturbing them in their homes to try to sell them something.  In fact, the last fund raiser I participated in, I never handed in the list and just threw it away.  The money was due after the items were delivered, so only the school suffered.  That's how much I disliked sales.

As I told my mother the details of my dilemma, I started running a fever and I felt fever blisters starting to form in my lips.  She advised that I keep getting ready.  "You can drive all the way out there and if it still doesn't feel right, you can get back in the car and go home." I thanked her and hung up the phone.  I got up to dry my hair and didn't even make it to the hair dryer.  I knew I had to decline the job.  I was not going to waste anymore time allowing myself to feel like a failure and ignored my fears of having no income in two weeks.  I called the company and declined the job.  As soon as I hung up the phone, the sores I had felt in my lips went away and my fever did too.  Within 30 minutes, I was feeling like my normal, healthy self again.

(Video Note: Even though there are things about The Secret that I am not pleased about (I'll have to blog about that ;) ~ I really like the first 20 minutes (minus the conspiracy theories), even with the exclusion of Abraham-Hicks (which gives Lisa Nichols a chance to shine, she does a great job).  This is a great summary/ lesson about how The Law of Attraction works and how to apply it to your life. Also, I love it as a method to get focused when I'm off track.)

Fortunately, the insane stress of my day job comes in handy at times, and I was able to get through the rest of the week without having time to panic over not having something lined up.

I then started doing what needed to be done all along; I began doing the mind work and healing for income.  I started with the video I posted last time from Reiki Blessings Academy, then went on to the posts I did when I first started this blog.  I was hard core about it.    I even watched "The Secret" to get myself back in decent "head space" (even though there is a lot about this movie I don't like, my mother has the original version with Abraham-Hicks, so it always helps me get focused).   For three days I did not allow my mind any free time to roam.  If I wasn't thinking about something that needed to be dealt with in that moment, I was reciting affirmations, concentrating on the feeling of financial security, not allowing myself to contemplate what was and only visualized what needed to be.

This is when The Universe astounded me and humbled me once again.  The last week of work, the first day back, my life mate found $10 on the ground and also informed me that there was $30 more in his bank account than he had originally thought.  The second day I received a gift card for $40 to my favorite restaurant as a "thank you" from a work colleague.  The third day was quiet, but I was still going full tilt with the healing and on the fourth day I received a generous payment/ reimbursement for time and money spent when my father became gravely ill two months ago.

While I've been doing the affirmations, I have also been following through on job leads, in education, and started my application to grad school so that I can become a certified teacher, which will lead to a better income no matter what.  In an odd way, I almost feel like I'm on an assembly line.  I'm focused on what's coming in the moment, not allowing my mind to wander, and building what's to come next.

(UPDATE ~ December28, 2011: I ended up qualifying for Unemployment Benefits,
which were equal to what I would have had left from my paycheck after
all the extra gas and fluids for the car.
I spent my summer healing, relaxing, writing and creating. : )


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