Friday, October 26, 2012

Embracing Jealousy

I generally don't feel jealous.  I find myself more happy and thrilled with the success of others.  I like to see what they've achieved and like hearing how they achieved it.  So, you can imagine my surprise, the summer of 2010, when I discovered, a woman whose blog I had been following, had moved forward with her photography business.  It had been so long since I'd been jealous, I was blindsided. When I calmed down, I knew this was a message from my Higher Self.  I quieted my mind and it didn't take long to figure out what was going on.

I'm a photographer.  I'm actually not half bad .  When I saw what this girl had done and saw that her skill level was about as good as mine, I knew I was jealous because she was doing something that I could and should have been doing.  I also knew I would never forgive myself and would always regret it if I didn't take that summer to pursue my own business, based on my passion.  I jumped right in and didn't look back.

Then, the strangest thing happened.  I love photographing live bands.  I've done it for over 20 years.  I found a band to shoot and then my camera died.  All my plans changed.  I stuck it out and forced myself to use a camera I was not comfortable with, to keep the momentum going.  The pictures turned out great, but I was not pleased with the process because I was used to looking through another lens. My life was a  bad metaphor.  ;~D

When I went back to work that fall, the whole business was put on hold.  A photographer without a good camera; what can I say?  It just doesn't work. I continued taking pictures with the other camera and found myself going down another path, creatively.  Over that same summer I was doing a lot of writing and I had also started the articles that would eventually lead to SacredCyberSpace.

When I went back to work, word was spreading quickly about a fellow coworker's cooking blog.  It was taking off like gang busters and it was all the buzz.  I was thrilled for my coworker, but the day she made the local newspaper, the green eyed monster paid a visit.  I knew right then and there what it meant.  I was supposed to be blogging too.  I was still trying to find my way.  Nothing was really clicking yet.  But this emotional state was my signal that I was still not on my path and that I needed to do something about it.

By March of 2011, the first phase of SacredCyberSpace was put into place.
See all the great things that can come from such a "bad" emotion?
Not too "bad", huh?
P.S.  Don't forget to check out my FREE Transforming Jealousy ~ Mini Workshop!  Instant access.  Share with your friends!
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