Wednesday, October 2, 2013

White Robed, Trumpeting-Angel Bliss

This morning I was greeted with the news that another of my former students had passed away.

That makes three former students in three years that have passed away.

I work with moderate to severe, mentally ill, school kids, in a building that has preschoolers all the way up to high school aged kids.

I get frustrated, exasperated, overwhelmed, pissed off and irritated to the Nth degree on a daily basis. 

I stay in the eye of the hurricane and don't get too wrapped up in these intense emotions because, on the opposite end I  experience great joy, fulfillment, pride, satisfaction and purpose to the Nth degree on a daily basis, as well.

I have former students in prison, strung out on drugs, dealing drugs, resorting to prostitution, homeless and pregnant.

I also have former students who are thriving in school, continuing on to college while working two jobs, working two jobs to start their own businesses, devoting themselves to their families and giving back to the world.

And, yes, I also have former students who were only here for a little while, each one's passing affecting me quite differently.

The first I wept and wept for because I always knew how damaged he was; always knew the abuse was so deep that he was incapable of changing his world view. 

The second, I cried a little, but I was more connected to her mother, than her and I grieved for her mother's loss.

Today, all I can do is smile and giggle.

I don't know how the third has transitioned on, and it doesn't seem to matter.

All I feel is great joy and light.

Probably because he was a devout, fundamental Christian and he's more than likely in total white robed, trumpeting-angel bliss right now. 

P.S. Are you dealing with loss? Check out my free grief journal, Riding the Waves of Grief: A Healing Journal Experience. Sign up for my email list to get your free copy!
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