I found this meme while flitting through my Facebook Page home-feed the other day.
It was so timely for me and for many, I'm sure.
Especially when going through a challenge of any kind.
What you are moving on from is generally right in your face.
Whether it be the extra weight you are trying to release, or an energy depleting job.
It is so easy to identify what is wrong and what needs to be changed.
Unfortunately, this is also the best way to stay stuck, exactly where you are.
Knowing you deserve better and taking action are the best things you can do to change any situation.
But you also have to focus on how you want things to be.
If you are constantly concentrating on what is wrong and what needs to be changed, you will find it much more difficult to move on.
You will get stuck.
Don't use what you DON'T want as motivation.
It won't work.
I'll use our current challenge as an example.
Ken is still looking for work.
He is also trying to get his business up and running at the same time.
Everyday we get up and have to physically navigate the mess in the living room, where he has set up shop.
Every week day, I get up and go to work while he stays home to fill out job applications and get things ready for his biz.
Everyday I come home to a stressed out Ken, who has tried to do everything he can, and gets frustrated that things didn't go the way he wanted.
We have a little powwow and focus on what he actually did accomplish.
I make dinner and chill for the evening.
We eat in the living room and watch a show on Netflix.
While we are eating and trying to chill, we are surrounded by everything Ken needs to work on.
This stresses him out all over again.
Which stresses me out.
He takes a walk to get some fresh air and change his perspective, only to return and be slapped in the face with the very thing he's trying to rise out of.
He then continues with job applications and his biz, until it's time to go to bed.
It's quite the rut.
I HAD A REVELATION...
I knew trying to get him to release his present situation and focus on his future would be wasted energy.
We can't make people do what they aren't ready to do.
(Apparently all memes are brought to you by Cheryl Richardson, today ;-) )
His situation affects me.
We are partners.
So, if my life is not as I would like it, and I know what needs to be done, then I'm the one who should be doing it.
This is what I did:
- Started making time, daily, to surrender our current situation.
- During this time I also made a conscious effort to feel like I do when Ken has a steady income.
- I set alarms in my cell phone with reminders to "reach out" and "connect" with the future that was "reaching back" to me.
- I also stepped away for a day (like I did when my work situation had to change).
Yes, I know...
These are all things that Ken needs to do as well.
But, he's not ready.
And that's OK.
What matters is that someone in the situation is doing this.
First of all, I am way more relaxed about the situation.
But, most importantly, while I was away, spending time with my sister and nieces, Ken got his biz up and running.
He's starting slow, but he's starting.
He is no longer living in overwhelm and fear.
By concentrating on consciously changing my perspective, I released a lot of stress.
My stress was not only affecting me, it was affecting Ken.
Removing it from the equation did nothing but help us both.
YOU KNEW IT WAS COMING -
So, you amazing person you...
What conscious choices can you make this week to change a situation that's staring you in the face?
Even if it's your partner's problem, you can change your reaction to it.
And create the momentum you both need to get things moving.
Love and hugs,
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