Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Burnout: The Gift Of An Empty Cup
This post has a back story.
I had an idea for writing about burnout, because, I found myself right in the midst of it, again, and was making choices to "cut it off at the pass".
I was going to tell you all about what I did and how I managed to keep it all together in the process.
I had caught it so early. There was still time. Haha!
"Let me be your Navigating Burnout guru!" ;-)
Well, in the 5 days since I started this post, it has become an investigation piece.
Because, it was time for the next phase of my healing, and nothing I had in mind was going to get in the way of allowing what the Universe had in store.
THAT GREAT BRIDGE JOB
I honestly thought I would be at my day job for at least a couple of years.
Something I could do while I get the Biz end of things going.
Then, it started getting very strange when I agreed to help out in the office in the mornings.
I believed in the program and wanted to help.
This opened a Pandora's Box of office politics and bull hockey like I had never seen.
Having to constantly stand up for myself, was taking its toll on me.
This is how they choose to run things, accuse first, iron things out later.
Just about every time, I had what I needed to back myself up.
And this last round was simply my boss looking for a scapegoat.
Unfortunately for her, she is dealing with someone who knows all "those" tricks and who puts her health and well being, first.
I let her know in the beginning that if I am taken for granted and tapped out, I will walk, without another job.
SO, THIS HAPPENED INSTEAD
Instead of changing my schedule back to what it used to be, while making lifestyle changes at home, I got up out of that meeting and never went back.
My spirit wouldn't let me return.
Anything I had left to give was used up in that meeting.
At the time, it was a horrendously painful decision to make.
My sister and Ken both work there.
My Bridge Job ended up being my "bridge" to a stronger Self on every level.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS...
I don't recommend this to everyone.
I have been planning my possible exit for weeks.
I made sure I had money and options.
Which is why I was initially comfortable making this tough decision, before the reality of how it might affect the ones I love, hit me.
THEN I REALIZED
While engaging in some nature, I realized that this was the next phase in my healing.
Due to the nature of what I was coping with, I had let a lot of things go, as far as strengthening my ankle and leg, and got away with just climbing several flights of stairs every day.
Emotionally I feel like I got out of it what I was supposed to.
Obviously my spirit was finished.
I told some ladies in one of my favorite networking groups that work had turned into a midterm exam for standing up for myself.
Apparently, the final exam was that meeting.
BURNOUT IS A TEACHER
I have found burnout to be one of my greatest teachers.
I don't intentionally seek it out.
No one does.
As it was pointed out to me, once you burnout, it's easier to have it happen again.
I took on what I felt I was being led to take on. It didn't feel like too much, until the extra interaction with my superiors became an issue.
Before I knew it, because of where I am in life and health, I had learned all I was supposed to and it was time to move on.
Every time I have burned out, there has been a wonderful lesson and amazing growth.
This time, though, I felt like the Universe moved me through a Power Course, and not just a learning experience. Hahah!
THE BURNOUT TANGO!
How about you?
Have you ever had to cope with burnout?
What did you learn about yourself?
How did it change your life?
I'd love to hear from you.
Leave a comment or drop me a line.